Echo-ing Elle Beau, I highly recommend this book: Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality A2010 book about the evolution of monogamy in humans as one of the many unfortunate corruptions of the human spirit brought on by the adoption of agriculture (less than 20000 years ago).
Authors: Christopher Ryan; Cacilda Jethá
Transactional views are not limited to men. I’m a semi-retired 64. On a recent date with a younger women who I guessed was a very fit 57, I was criticized for being naive for not understanding that “ALL women, WITHOUT EXCEPTION, expect a partner in a committed relationship to raise the women’s economic status. Otherwise, why should they bother to commit?” When snarky me wondered out loud why I couldn’t hope to be in a committed relationship with a women at least as economically independent as my ex-wife OR at least willing to live a comfortable life focused on the simple most important things in life that I could readily afford, I was berated for being unambitious. At that point it became apparent to me that my high six figure net worth, decent pension, and sustainable life style just wouldn’t cut it in this woman’s world. No ironclad pre-nup protecting only her assets would ever do the trick. Sorry, but I’m just not willing at this point in my life to be someone’s financial slave in exchange for their willingness (in their mind) to be my sexual slave. I didn’t push back; why bother. Like the old golfing joke says, “At my age a talking frog is more interesting!” She hadn’t done all that plastic surgery, yoga, zumba, and pilates for nothing. There was no way she was going to settle for a guy whose net worth was less than her ex-husband’s. Just for kicks, though, I did allow myself to ruminate on this exchange later. It would have been fun to press her into putting a specific net worth number on her prerequisites. Then after she said something like $20 million I could have asked her what I would get for that $20 million compared to a 45 year old version of herself? There is a delicate balance though, between being an asshole for the other person’s own good, and the delusion of trying to get happy by making others unhappy.