I’ve been regularly dating a woman 15 years younger than me for about 10 weeks. I “fell” for her harder in that short time then I have ever “fallen” for someone before. This morning she sent me a text breaking it off. I could feel the break coming because I could sense her misgivings about going on a three-night trip with me that she had suggested we book two weeks ago. I honestly think she thought it would be perfectly ok to go on that trip and not sleep with me.

The problem is that she comes from a conservative Christian background and just could not bring herself to discuss sex, arousal, etc. I think most men, including myself, will readily and honestly admit being aroused, but most women, not. Because Yael has not bought into the shaming cast upon female sexuality by society, she was able to set a “G-Rated” boundary for Frank with which he was ok. Instead of offering me that courtesy, my girlfriend simply canceled her commitment to go on the trip and then ghosted me for 4 days. Then she finally reached out to me with an apology saying, “…I’m afraid I can’t fulfill your needs and you deserve someone that can. Keep smiling with that big beautiful heart you have.”

PLEASE, ladies…be like Yael and be upfront with men about whether there is “chemistry” or not. If we are going to be a good friend for you then chances are we will stick around, if not, almost all of us will move on. Of course, ladies, you can cite examples of raving, scary, lunatics that didn’t move on, but my guess is that Yael has had to deal with fewer of those than most because she is upfront about her feelings from the start of things.

SGI Buddhist, Loves Irish and Latin American Literature, History buff, knows a great deal about Medicare

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