She would have received the same criticism had she adopted any solid consistent path. Some people are just in love with undefined spiritual babble…they don’t want to be “pinned” down as to what they believe or to what goals they aspire. That is why soon into dating someone I broach this subject.

Recent experiences have taught me that it is best by the third date (definitely before sex) to just pop the questions, two of them to be precise:

  1. Where would you place yourself on the range shown below?
    Atheist — Buddhist — Pantheist — Deist — Theist
    (Feel free to specify other specific beliefs Stoic/Druid/Confucian/Taoist/Theistic Denomination etc. here:______________________________________________)
  2. Are you more Palegian (good works matter) OR Calvinist (humans are irredeemably corrupt and only “saved” by grace)?

If they have never been exposed to these terms and have trouble understanding them and/or answering these questions then I ask them if they wouldn’t mind devoting a date or two studying religion and philosophy and discussing these topics in depth. If they want me to answer the questions first I pull out an envelop and explain that my answers are in the envelop and that she can open it at the end of such a discussion BUT TO OPEN IT BEFORE WOULD BE HURTFUL AND DISRESPECTFUL TO ME and then I give her the envelope.

Obviously this means that I believe that a committed relationship with someone with similar answers to mine stands a greater chance of being solid and meaningful. On the other hand, though, I do not want to limit myself with prejudice so I don’t delve into these issues until/unless there is “chemistry” or “attraction”. If the attraction is strong; the respect for our shared humanity strong, and the communication strong, then nuanced differences in our answers to these questions could make our relationship more interesting rather than be a cause for conflict or resentment.

Of course, though, if she is a Medium subscriber and looks me up here…my cover is blown!

C’est la vie! (French)

Sin é an saol! (Irish)

Ni modo! (Spanish)

SGI Buddhist, Loves Irish and Latin American Literature, History buff, knows a great deal about Medicare

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