Someone told me that “rule” when I got divorced the first time and that is about how long it took. In connection with the divorce I also started a new career and re-negotiated the child custody arrangements, etc…so it just did take 3 years.
I googled this “rule” and plenty of experts chimed in. Here’s an example from https://www.midlifedivorcerecovery.com/marriage-after-50/ :
How Long To Date Before Marriage After 50?
My rules are: Do not date until you have done the grieving and healing you need to do after the end of your first marriage. A counselor told me to expect one year of healing for every 5–7 years of marriage. I said, “I don’t have that long! I might be dead by then.” Another said one month of healing for every year of marriage. That got me down to about 3 years.
Those long time frames are what encouraged me to develop a program that can take women through a structured program of healing that can be completed in one calendar year or even faster if you’re dedicated to the process.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger, author and relationship advisor, always said three years is the minimum time to date before marriage. For me, it was more like a year and a half or two years. I would err on the side of taking your time rather than jumping in too soon.